News Desk: "Exotic" - A Conversation w/Nadia Sharif
Discussing a common term with a complicated history
The pole world has been abuzz about the widespread use of the word “exotic” in the past couple weeks, following Nadia Sharif’s Instagram post. In the 15-minute video, she decries the term, connects it to its colonial past and use against people of color, and encourages pole instructors and studio owners to reconsider using the word when labeling classes. In the days following that post, Kitty Velour compiled a series of slides presenting a thorough history of the word, and Gemma Rose created a post that explains many of the interrelated issues around making studios a comfortable place for all students.
Here, I need to take personal responsibility for my own use of exotic - not only as a dancer, but in my small part as a community leader. I helped Pole Sport Organization name their “exotic” categories many years ago (more about that in the interview below). I marketed my own workshops using it. I created Exoticraft Magazine in early 2020 - which only ran for a single issue before the pandemic hit, but I planned future issues. When the magazine published, Portland-based stripper and pole instructor Evelyn.pdx reached out to me directly and challenged my use of exotic in the name, bringing up many of the same issues we’re all discussing today.
Although our discussion was open and respectful, I wasn’t ready to hear her then. I was too fond of the term personally. I had put a lot into the magazine and didn’t want to change it just after publication. More than that, I saw the widespread use of “exotic” as proof that it couldn’t be that problematic (cue big sigh at Past Me, from Present Me), and - being a white dancer myself - I had a hard time understanding how the word could be harmful for people of color, when used to describe a dance style instead of a person.
I mention this history, and this private conversation, because I think it’s a perfect example of how we can all get defensive when our language is challenged. How there is no such thing as a perfect ally, and how even issues that seem completely neutral can always be looked at from a different perspective. How we can all do a lot better at being active participants in understanding the perspective of those less privileged than we are.
Of course, this conversation isn’t really new. Activists like Nova Caine and Jordan Kensley have been posting about it for a long while. It is, however, the first time a founding member of the pole community stood up and took a principled stand in public, laying out the entire problem and calling for accountability across the industry. When I watched Nadia’s video, I saw the issue with all of its complexities, history, and intersectionality explained for me in a way that helped me finally understand - and I’ve heard that sense of new perspective echoed by many other polers. (Did it take a person of color doing the legwork for me to finally get it? Yes. That’s my real personal takeaway from this whole situation, and my own shameful motivation to do better.) Since her video post, reactions from polers, strippers and sex workers across social media have spanned the spectrum from immediate adjustments to fierce pushback. I wanted to dig a little deeper into the issue than was possible on social media, and when I reached out, she generously agreed to this written interview.
Our conversation follows. It has been very lightly edited for grammar and clarity.
Iris: Clearly the core of the issue with the word exotic is its “othering” factor - in any context, it means something different and strange. And a POC or mixed person is strange, of course, only when compared to whiteness as the standard.
I loved Kitty Velour’s comment about it: “I hear people trying to explain it to each other using the words foreign, far away, mysterious and it just makes me feel uncomfortable because that’s how I feel when people call me exotic, and I don’t want those feelings in my pole space.”
I think this is a powerful argument against the people who will inevitably say this shift is PC culture at work. But it’s just about making sure students feel comfortable in a space where we ask them to be vulnerable. Can you address the issue of political correctness first off, just to get it out of the way?
Nadia: Political Correctness to me is just being respectful to the climate of the times. For us, at this point, it's all about inclusivity and representation. I can see where (especially yt ppl) would be "tired" of PC culture. This is probably because their kind has never been stolen from. Their kind have never been through genocide. Their kind have never faced the backlash of words, at least our lifetime.
Trump calling it Covid "The Chinese Virus" for example, may seem harmless to everyone except the Asians, who are now suffering the backlash of these words in the form of murder and hate crimes. Then you get the IGNORANT people saying "well, it DID come from China so what's the problem? People are dead. That's the problem. Words have consequences.
Do you think “exotic” was adopted purely because the majority-white pole community didn’t understand what it meant for nonwhite dancers? I’m thinking back to five years ago, when we were just beginning to say “russian exotic” or “pole exotic” as dancers like Eva Bembo and Olga Koda popularized this new style. Looking back, it seems obvious that “russian exotic” really actually meant “foreign foreign.” And that was accurate - for most of us, this trick-heavy, fast-paced style was foreign to us. Were we just not connecting the dots, language-wise?
Well, yes I do think the majority, being white people in the pole community, were completely ignorant of how the term makes culturally ambiguous women feel. You'll notice it's not something brown and black pole dancers collectively engage in, or use in hashtags, or use in marketing. It’s so so so clearly a white people thing today.
I think we always saw it as a euphemism for stripper, instead of saying "Russian Stripper Style" we just said "Russian Exotic" and thought it was the same thing, until we realized it wasn't. I watched this industry be built by strippers (of all colors) and then taken over by everyone else and then #NotAStripper and everyone trying to "clean" everything up to make money off of white suburbia, get to the Olympics, gain "respect" for the "sport" etc. Ugh. It's truly a saddening sight. I've never, not once, ever felt the need to clean anything up for the sake of money or clients or "respect/legitimacy".
The first studio I worked at was all about the stripper experience. We made up stripper names and alter egos and touched ourselves and caressed ourselves. The curriculum was made by strippers and all teachers went through a 3 month training program plus shadowed/assisted classes for months after that at a lesser pay rate compared to the main instructor until we were ready. Yes. 6 months of training. I don't know - not 1 studio - that does that today. We charged top dollar for classes and we took our job seriously, with no reward other than the 90 minute class and a paycheck. I was paid well and treated well and was allowed to use the studio during off hours any time at no cost. I truly felt loved and at home. Once that studio closed, I saw what other studios were like. I had been so spoiled and didn't even know. Xpolesitions did it right right.
One of the terms you and Jordan Kensley, among others, have offered as a replacement is simply, “sexy”. It occurs to me that pole business owners might have been substituting “exotic” instead of “sexy” because it made it easier to book venues, get loans, or advertise classes without setting off alarm bells with the people that hold those purse strings. Does that mean we should give pole businesses a pass for their prior use of the term?
I would give all businesses and people a "pass" if I had passes to hand out. I hold no personal grudge at all for anyone using it. I agree with Marlo that "it’s sloppy" for American, English speaking pole dancers to adopt this term with no second thought. Exotic dance started as belly dance, then evolved into a euphemism for stripping and now its representative of the main issue America faces which is - "perpetuation of appropriation though assimilation" or in simpler terms, white-washing for the sake of money.
This is nothing new, it’s the American way. BIPOC people have seen this happen on repeat with every form of art we do. I use quotes here because I learned these words from the revolutionaries knows as Rage Against the Machine.
I have to take responsibility for my own small role in popularizing the term. I remember sitting with Pole Sport Organization owner Amy Guion on a long drive to a competition. I had been working with more of the low flow tricks that the Russians introduced for a while, and she mentioned that because of my experience, she was interested in my thoughts about naming a new “sexy” category she was considering adding. Exotic was one potential idea. The term was already growing in popularity, so I agreed, and she seemed to decide right then. The sexy-specific “After Dark” events were created after PSO and Alloy Images parted ways.
Now, in hindsight, I wonder if we ever needed a sexy-specific category or event at all - perhaps this is yet another example of lowkey slutshaming, where “sexy” pole is segregated from “normal” pole. Of course, this isn’t exclusive to PSO - many competitions separate out sexier categories or events. Can you talk about your thoughts on that?
This is exactly it. If we didn't spend so much time separating ourselves and trying to "clean" ourselves up in the beginning, we would have never needed a "sexy" specific genre because it would have been represented and welcomed within all pole comps everywhere. Then, all of a sudden, with IG and pole videos growing, it became like a "slut-war" for "fame". I’ll probably get cancelled for saying that, but all I mean is, all of a sudden "stripper" shit got hella popular.
This is where you see OG strippers use the #SexyNeverLeft tag, which I thought was pretty cool. This kinda stated "I been doing this style since before everyone all of a sudden thought it was cool." Of course we saw the Russians, they are uber talented and skilled and everyone wanted to be Olga Koda. Her videos were next level and those long braids were hard to miss. Did the yt ppl copying her care about the appropriation? Nope. Doubt it. They just saw dope art, wanted to learn it all, then post it all, then take it all, then teach it all and then they could have it all... thats exactly how capitalism works. Again, it's nothing new. It's the American way.
The Tiktok pole community has been discussing wearing stripper heels lately, and whether it’s stripper appropriation. Multiple strippers have defended studio polers wearing heels, explaining that it normalizes their work, which makes them less marginalized. How do you think we can walk that line between appropriating and normalizing?
I'm not really certain about what's going on via TikTok, but I'll say I wear my stripper heels proudly and as long as you don't call them "pole fitness" heels you're good (lol @ Pleasers). I think we can all enjoy dancing exactly how we want to as long as there is respect for where it came from.
Obviously that part is lacking and hard to tell what is being said behind all the closed doors and zoom rooms. I'll just remind every pole teacher that, as an instructor of a stripper adjacent field, we have an obligation to educate our students on our roots, break down whore-phobic ideas and remind everyone that we are not above strippers in any way, but rather we look at them as the people that gave us this unique opportunity to indulge in the most glamorous part of their work without any of the risk.
In addition to your video, Kitty Velour and Gemma Rose’s posts about “exotic”, I’ve seen posts from a few other instructors about specificity of language in general - Judy Gray and Drusilla Ray, for example. Labeling a class correctly so that students truly understand what they’re walking into. Properly crediting the originators of a style or phrase. Being inclusive in our wording. Educating students about studio based pole’s connection with stripping. It seems we’re having a long overdue update to the language we use in the pole world. Do you think dropping the term exotic is part of a larger cultural shift within the pole community?
I think as communities grow into industries, we often lose a lot of the important details. As the industry booms, we rush to keep up, we stress to fill classes, we adopt new trends and money is always the ultimate goal. I hope that we can center authenticity, cultivate a studio culture that isn't reliant on keeping up with trends but rather having its own unique offering, that is special, genuine and welcoming to everyone.
I think Covid and George Floyd already began making a culture shift, but as it often goes, things trickle back into old learned behaviors when things get "uncomfortable". I know things are difficult for everyone right now. Our people are literally dying at the hands of our government in the form of police brutality with no accountability, as well from the global pandemic, its kinda now or never. This word "exotic" is truly not important in the grand scheme of things but the thought process of how you do business is very important and can in fact change the world.
So on an individual level, these conversations are happening, we’re learning, we’re changing our language. You mention in your video that you’re not asking for anyone to be “canceled”. So what should our response be to studios, comps, or instructors who use the term “exotic” now?
I meant that. I'm not looking to cancel anyone. Don't go poking the dragon like I do. I'm self destructive by nature and there are real life consequences for opening a door you might not be prepared to walk through. I'll just say, when people show you who they are, believe them. Not everyone is ready to listen and learn and that's OK. You can't force it, believe me I've tried.
As for white American pole dancers using this word, nah, that's a total miss for me every single time. BIPOC strippers using it - eh, get your money. I don't judge people by the color of their skin, I judge them based on the words coming out of their mouth. So when people said "All Lives Matter" or "Blue Lives Matter" I knew that's never what they meant. It only meant Black lives don't matter to them. The proof is in the action, or lack thereof.
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